Reality is Stranger than Fiction OR It’s Disgusting and We Ate It

Writing Tip: Besides building your fan base, entertaining your audience, and that social network thing, having a blog is good to keep writers writing regularly–and quickly.

Do you see?

Do you see?

Today’s story goes back, but needs to be shared.

Picture the scene: It’s been one month since we moved into our new house, and we have sat down to a nice family meal cooked by my husband–grilled burgers and homemade fries.

We’ve all been eating, talking and laughing when my son says, “These look like ants.”

You know on fried foods, those little black crumbles? Yeah, well …

My husband says, “Those are not ants! I can’t believe you would say that!”

I think his feelings were hurt that someone would suggest such a thing about his meal. 

I take a good look and say, “I’m going to get the telescope.”

Why I have the telescope handy is another story for another day.

As I walk away, my husband is saying, “I can’t believe you’d say that …”

We don’t mention his failing sight.

Myoungest, who has been studying insects in first grade, says,”Look Daddy, I can see the thorax, and the abdomen …”

A week or so prior, we had a similar experience that was never confirmed because my son rinsed the food down the sink too quickly, but I started looking around the kitchen, and my eyes fell on the fryer …

I hear my husband say, “I guess that could be an ant …”

Using a sifting spoon from the jar, I scrape at the gunk at the bottom of the fryer, and sure enough, ants. Lots and lots of ants.

“Who packed the fryer?” I ask.

My second son.

“Who unpacked it?” I ask.

Same.

“Did you dump out the oil when you packed it?”

No.

“Did you dump out the oil when you unpacked it?”

No.

The fryer had sat in a box in the garage a good month, and the plastic lid of the fryer had a crack in it. Sometime while it was in the garage, a colony of ants had marched its way into the fryer and drowned in a greasy heaven.

We had all eaten the fries. They tasted good. Great, in fact. The ants didn’t noticeably change the flavor (except to make it more crunchy, I guess), I had two more bites for fun and to make my husband feel better, but that’s all I could do. I couldn’t stomach the idea anymore.

This is what happens when your children pack for you.

This is what happens when your children pack for you.

My youngest asks if she can take some to school tomorrow.

“Sure,” I say, as I’m snapping pictures.

“You’re going to let her take that to school?” My husband asks. Apparently he didn’t want the world to know.

“Yes,” I said. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want the world to know.”

“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry, I just posted it on Facebook.”

Too late and too great not to share!

Moral of the story: Be careful when you let your children pack and unpack.

It's Disgusting and We Ate It written by James Solheim, illustrated by Eric Brace

It’s Disgusting and We Ate It
written by James Solheim, illustrated by Eric Brace

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